Clarification

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It seems like yesterday. Really, it is windy and blue; it is just like yesterday. Anyway, Megan is not having another baby. My Big Things post stemmed from a glass of wine that spilled on my computer a while back. Meg, Oly and myself were playing with a beach ball in the house. It was like slow motion as I watched a full glass of Shiraz land smack on my keyboard. My computer was fried. So, after a time thinking and psyching myself into believing I could write something big, my new computer arrived for Fathers Day. As I sat quietly at that new beauty, nothing came to mind. Not one idea. Not a small one or a big one.

But, as people began to misinterpret my meanings, an idea came to mind. It has to do with why I know Megan is not pregnant. A short time after Oly was born, I went to get snipped, if ya know what I mean. I was promised it would be a smooth painless ordeal. As I was lying there in all my glory, the doctor began his procedure. Every muscle in my body but one was as stiff as a corpse, as he worked on the first side. The one non-stiff muscle was hiding, like he was saying, stay away from me motherfucker. You know, they grab this little vein and clamp it off. That is just not a good thing. So, after he finished with the first side, he looked me in my silver-dollar sized eyes and said, “Do you want me to keep going?”

Well, my mind thought hell no, but then the idea of being half fixed was strange. I did not know anyone that was half fixed. Half crazy, half red, half blue, but not half fixed. So I reluctantly motioned that he was good to clamp away. Several minutes into this new undamaged side, I heard something hit the floor at the same time a severe jolt of pain forced me to sit straight up. The doctor looked at me, as the squeezing got tighter, and pointed to the wall behind me. All I could see was blood running down his arm as he said, “Can you push that red emergency button behind you?” 

My arms flung backwards as I tried to find some lifesaving button that was just out of reach. When I located that SOB, I about pushed it through the wall. Soon, a dozen nurses came rushing in the room. As it turned out, it was a problem with clamps. So as I layed there in all my glory, bloody and battered, clamped here and there, I thought that it probably would not have been that bad to be half fixed.

  

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Big Things Coming Soon

There are big things coming. Well, not that big. It is a thing, but I guess it is sort of small really. If it was big, I’d say so. And it isn’t coming that soon. Ya know, it may be some time before, you know. Well you probably don’t. But big, I mean small things are coming in a while.IMG_5558